February 02, 2020

Empty Mind is A House of Evil

This is might be a questionable sentence to you how Empty Mind is a House of Evil? It is simple as that when we are alone at that time it proves the most. Especially when we have nothing left for the day or when we are completely done for the day or caught in when our mind goes opposite. You trapped in a conflict between heart and mind. We always overthink that leads us a somewhere unwanted or forceful path. It has recently happened to me when I was empty or left with nothing to do.
When a housewife has done with her daily chores early, she has a lot of time to spend. After doing extra work, somehow she starts doing or inclined to the negative part of thought because it's universal's law when positive time finished, a negative start for sometimes.

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

One of the parts like that had happened with me. You must be laughing what kind of it is but its one of a kind. Many times you must have the experience, especially by working husband how his wife start fighting with husband when she doubts on him without any reason. It happens because of overthinking. thinking which has no sense or no limits.
By now, you must have thought what Lokesh Umak as working in corporate had what kind of empty mind and a house of Evil? Yes, I too had, and I guess everyone has in their life. It is related to something when your wife and daughter in law stay at home all day long and suddenly you or your son returns home and find them are fighting hard on a silly reason.

So here we go, in the quarter of my shift I was done for the day and my empty mind had started rushing on many thoughts, sitting in front of computer nobody would like it. The same thing had happened to me. I locked my system in no time and walked out on the road. I was out just to know what is in our Infy stores. It was 30th Jan, already month-end though I had no money. But the height of the stupid idea of a human has no solution. I went directly to the basement of Foodcourt 3 of my office. There are many shops, you can buy ice cream, sweets, chocolate, tourist package booking, get groceries, medicines. Almost everything.
I went into a supermarket and eyes started searching and exploring every nook. I was sure that if this stupid mind falls in love with anything then I won't be able to bear with me. It would be difficult to refrain from that and exactly what had happened. Guessing what I could have done? Sudden a box of pen caught my attention, its parker pens, well-packed inbox. When I started digging in there, I found very interesting pens and they were of high quality and costly too. I fell for a golden one.
I took that in my hand and turned around, I thought choosing a diary would be a great idea, as I turned around, I saw the new year 2020 diary, they were very fancy. I picked the one had violet cover. My mind thought black and white days of me when I used to have my pen collection, that time I was doing my schooling. I couldn't resist myself though I had no balance left in my debit card.

I touched my wallet through the first and middle fingers but removed my fingers without withdrawing it and kept back that Pen and Diary I had chose. I already had credit card expenses crossed for the month. I stood there in the front pen tray. I took a deep breath and picked up them again, quickly went in the billing queue before my mind changes. Many of my thoughts tried troubles me to revoke my decision but all the efforts failed. Luckily I was the only second person left in the queue. The next person was female who was holding only two items and she done within two minutes. Finally, I swiped my credit card. When the card was swiped and the message came on my mobile, it gave me a shiver, It was more than I was expected.
I got back to my desk in ten minutes and had more 20 minutes to logout, but only one question was bothering that was - What would be my wife's reaction, Have you come across such a situation ever?
I was for sure that she is going to shout on me when she would look at that expensive pen. That I already know and hence I had bought few preschool books for my 2.5-year-old daughter thinking that it will ease her anger on the term of selfishness. I also had a thought, I must hind the bill of shopping but all went in vain and what had happened was unexpected. When I went home, I took my shoes out, with hesitant I rang the doorbell, I heard my daughter playing in the hall watching a cartoon on TV.
I had already planned how to react while travelling back home, as the door flung opened, Reedha greeted me and gave me a smile.
"Reedha! look what I bought for you?" I pulled the zip of my back down and took out a carry bag in which all the shopping was done. I glanced around, the bedroom door was closed,
Oh, Swati is taking a nap, I thought.
I was pretty sure that she must be awake and watching TV serials on her mobile. I have a soft knock on the door and went into the bathroom to get fresh, Swati had opened the door within a minute.
I did a mistake

When I handed books to Reedha, that time I had kept the other things on the sofa meanwhile she checked the bill. She came near me holding, one had on her waist and other was holding the bill.

"You bought a pen for 500 rupees?" She said.
I was looking into her eyes to measure what quantity of anger on her, looking at my casual look her innocent face started slowly carrying anger.

"Lokesh, are you crazy? It's month-end."
"Yeah I know, but I couldn't hold myself back from buying these."

She went straight into the kitchen, I followed her dancing and convincing way but she was not giving me any response. She drank a glass of water and resume her pending kitchen cleaning. I stood near her watching her every move. She was not looking at me. Reedha was enjoying her new books loud and shout. After watching Swati for more than three minutes. Finally, she shouts aloud.

"There are many things that I'm dreaming of, there is no good mirror at the basin, no exhaust fans at home. I did not make any recent shopping and you wasted 900 rupees today for nothing."

Her anger was obvious, my dad had already lent me some money for January. Without a salary, I made this purchase. It was all valid for being her unhappy.

"You could have to buy some 50-100 rupees range pen if you even think that time." She advised me.

This time she was calm down.

"Sorry for that, but..." What else I could say?

A thought twisted my mind and I again added.

"You only are saying that you do not give us time after office hours. All-day you sit in front of the office PC and at home with your laptop. You don't give us time at all.

I took a deep breath and started looking straight into her eyes.

"Hence I decided I will minimize the usage of mobile and laptop and concentrate on writing part and that is why I purchased a pen and notebook.

She broke the glance from that I was clear that she liked my idea. She resumed her job. I went into the hall and sat on the sofa, unpacked my pen, took the diary and wrote my name on the new diary. I was surprised when she came near me within two minutes, sat beside me on the sofa wearing a smile and handed me a glass of water, she smiled too and said,

"Let me try this pen." Finely she uttered in her sweet voice.