January 23, 2020

A Letter to My Mother – I have done struggle inside the womb, not sure how much is outside. Is there hell?

Just a moment, please! Do you think I am safe inside the womb eating food and enjoying all the time? The fact is not at all. I feel every second of you,, experience every happiness and pain of yours. Not only this but whatever you do, it transmits through each and every nerve. When you sit as per your convenient way but you never imagine what’s the best position while you have a baby inside your stomach? You don't feel me cry, but I can feel you when you are sad.

You sleep eating heavy and junk food but it is very hard for me to digest and extract the nutrition from it. When you wake up late, sometimes without bath you go to the office and keep me waiting for food, I have to wake up in an awkward time and what it results? I end up the lack of proper development on the given schedule. You walk more than you need and then I feel like I am in the sky and travelling upside down, I have tiny muscles and that too get tired.

You keep your regular schedules from starting of the day to the end of the day I find nothing changes. When it goes out of my control then I have to kick you to make you aware that - It is enough and someone is inside you. Do you think it is a task? Don’t ever, it is the life that builds your future.

You eat loa t of sugar which troubles me a lot, why don't you go for natural sugar? When you go exposing your stomach to many people in the market or office I could hear them I can't tell you how annoys me. Especially when you go by local train, I feel like I have jumped off the air-plane and I am going to die in a few seconds.

You eat all the non-sense in your lunch, what I need who will tell you? When the doctor says that medicine is important in your pregnancy you just avoids them and bunches of tablets goes waste in the dustbin. You even don't read stories for me, don't go to a temple. If you visit a temple at least once in a week I will get a peace of mind. You always love crowded places and pollution is your favourite.

"You think about yourself, you are selfish - not even about your life partner"

I can't explain how I did feel when you were travelling in the suffocated bus, I thought that someone had placed a pillow on my face. There was no extra room so that I could make free movements in your stomach. You are so risky woman but don't go beyond the limits have a safe journey and these things are for whom? Money?, I Or for yours?

But one thing between you guys I cannot bother at all, you guys are staying away, you broke with my father I should die inside. How long this war will be there and living alone? Now I am worried about whom I will love the most? I could bear anything but not a single fight between you. When you cry louder, while fighting, I pulled my leg so close and tight, I thought something bad had happened with you. I always think outside there is only hell.

Lokesh Umak